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Thursday Night Tale


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So being that last night was Thursday, I went on my weekly flyover the city in my helicopter. If you recall, I crashed my last chopper. It took me a few weeks, but I built a new one. From scratch. It only took a few weeks because I have done it before. I memorized the way I did the last one. Because I am a genius. I digress. I flew out to this rave in South Dakota to hang out with some dudes I “do business with” on occasion. This party was off the chains. I saw some of the most wack stuff I have ever seen there. Some dude brought 4 llamas to the party. They were all messed up on Ecstasy. You simply have to see a llama with a backpack on full of bottle waters. Stupid thing kept eating his pacifiers though.

Anyways, I went out back to grab some fresh air. I was standing out back when I heard some rustling noise coming from the woods nearby. I decided at this time to investigate. I got about 25 feet into the trees when I found the most amazing thing I have ever seen. A 68 point deer. He looked at me and started to make noises like he was about to rush me. I was right. Because I always am. He darted right towards me. I scaled the tree to my left and held on for over 5 hours. It was at this point that the deer laid down to sleep. As he started nodding off I saw my chance and let go of my grip. I came down and put that son of a bitch in a leg scissors. This obviously startled him and he started running deep into the woods. I knew that if I let go, he would probably buck me so I held on tight. He ran hard for about another hour and a half. He was dragging me through bushes and stuff getting my clothes all dirty and torn. I just bought this fresh looking all white outfit to wear to this rave and here I am, 6 hours later, being dragged by a 68 point deer through the woods. In South Dakota. I laughed to myself and thought how ridiculous this all was and decided to end it right there. I grabbed the next branch I could get my hands on and smashed it against the deer’s testicles. This stunned him and he stopped running. He actually started sobbing and crying like a human dude. I felt bad so I eased my grip around his neck. We looked at each other in that mutual admiration kinda thing. I put out a fist and he gave me respect knuckles and limped off into the dark night. I picked myself up and dusted the dirt off the best I could and went back to the party.

Some night, huh? Oh yeah, here’s me in my all white outfit.



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