A slightly different view of the same world.
Celine Dion Has A 75 Year Old Man's Chest
Published by Scott Webster.
Also, she's not really that pretty in "real" life. Just thought you should know.
Man Bowls 300 Then Dies
Published by Scott Webster.
The first thing I thought of when I heard this was the night when Donny dies in The Big Lebowski. Not sure why. Maybe because he dies right after bowling. So I started looking for pictures of Donny but all I could find was pictures of Steve Buscemi not in character. So instead, you get a picture of Jesus. That creep can roll, man.FROM THE AP:
PORTAGE, Mich. - A bowler collapsed and died at a bowling alley shortly after rolling the third perfect game of his life.
"If he could have written a way to go out, this would be it," said Johnny D. Masters, who was bowling with Lorenz.
Friends said Lorenz started bowling in 1957 and ended last season with a 223 average. He rolled his first two 300 games over a one-week period in 2004.
In May, Lorenz was inducted into the Kalamazoo Metro Bowling Association Hall of Fame.
The Header at the Top
Published by Scott Webster.
I lifted the image (without permission) from Mr. Fish. You've probably seen some of his stuff on this site before. It's the poignant cartoons that randomly pop up. Anyways, check out his site. It's a simple layout with rather funny stuff on it. I'd use a lot more of his images on here but I might as well just plug him outright. Some of the younger people who visit this site don't quite "get" the cartoons sometimes.
EDIT: I was referring to this header.
EDIT: I was referring to this header.
Mary Poppins Remake
Published 12.29.2005 by Scott Webster.
Steven Spielberg is apparently planning to remake classic children's musical Mary Poppins.
Sir Richard Eyre, director of the London stage show has been approached by Spielberg to helm the project. Eyre's stage show is inspired both by the 1964 Julie Andrews movie and the P.L. Travers books on which the film itself was based
Contactmusic.com quote Eyre as saying: "Spielberg wants to make a new film of Mary Poppins and we've talked about it a lot.
"It will be hard to outdo the original but kids love the story and I'm sure that the remake will be a real success."
Boooooooo. Don't touch the original. If someone does, it better be Tim Burton.
Sir Richard Eyre, director of the London stage show has been approached by Spielberg to helm the project. Eyre's stage show is inspired both by the 1964 Julie Andrews movie and the P.L. Travers books on which the film itself was based
Contactmusic.com quote Eyre as saying: "Spielberg wants to make a new film of Mary Poppins and we've talked about it a lot.
"It will be hard to outdo the original but kids love the story and I'm sure that the remake will be a real success."
Boooooooo. Don't touch the original. If someone does, it better be Tim Burton.
Tapped Out
Published by Scott Webster.
I don’t have a problem with wire-taps in general. I believe that, with a warrant, the United States should be able to listen in on conversations or read emails involving people living in the US and people outside of the country. There are a few caveats though. I did not say US citizens. I said people living in the US. Also, it must be with a warrant. No matter how bad a person is, you still must abide by the laws of the Constitution when dealing with them. Nobody, including the President should be able to override that. Especially in a time of war. This is when things need to be done perfectly. And third, it must be done in limited scope. You can’t just monitor every single form of communication that a person has. That is also an infringement (in my opinion) of their rights as a human being. A human being.
This brings me to the next point. The Bush administration has taken over 19,000 warrant requests to FISA. Guess how many have been turned down. Less than 15. Do the math. They have turned down .0007894% of them. And, if all of the surveillance targeted only people associated with al Qaeda, as the administration claims, it would have been easily approved by the FISA court. That process would not have delayed the surveillance since a warrant can be obtained up to 72 hours after the surveillance starts.
Bush’s administration says this surveillance is justified because it made us safer. WRONG. The program has made us less safe by needlessly complicating the prosecution of terrorist suspects. Watch to see how many “terrorists” cases are going to tie up our courts system. Way to go, asshole.
This brings me to the next point. The Bush administration has taken over 19,000 warrant requests to FISA. Guess how many have been turned down. Less than 15. Do the math. They have turned down .0007894% of them. And, if all of the surveillance targeted only people associated with al Qaeda, as the administration claims, it would have been easily approved by the FISA court. That process would not have delayed the surveillance since a warrant can be obtained up to 72 hours after the surveillance starts.
Bush’s administration says this surveillance is justified because it made us safer. WRONG. The program has made us less safe by needlessly complicating the prosecution of terrorist suspects. Watch to see how many “terrorists” cases are going to tie up our courts system. Way to go, asshole.
FILE UNDER: "Who Gives A Crap?"
Published 12.28.2005 by Scott Webster.
Also... you can file this under: "Tori Spelling Is Slowly Turning Into a Centaur".My god is she getting uglier all of the time. I never did care for the way she looked. However, I will say this. She looks better when she weighs more than 75 pounds.
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Months after splitting from her first husband, former "Beverly Hills, 90210" star Tori Spelling is engaged to her new boyfriend, actor Dean McDermott, celebrity magazines Us Weekly and People reported on Tuesday.
Us Weekly, which broke the news of the engagement, said McDermott, 39, proposed to Spelling, 32, on Saturday evening after a moonlit ride in a horse-drawn carriage on a Christmas tree farm outside
"We have searched our whole lives for each other and can't wait to now start our lives as one," the couple said in a statement issued to Us Weekly. "We both finally found our soulmate and we are beyond in love."
A similar statement was given to People magazine. Both magazines reported that McDermott presented Spelling with a diamond-and-sapphire ring. No wedding date was given.
Representatives for the couple could not immediately be reached for comment by Reuters.
In mid-October, court papers revealed that Spelling's first spouse, actor-writer Charlie Shanian, had filed for divorce just 15 months after they were married in a lavish ceremony at the Beverly Hills home of her father, TV producer Aaron Spelling.
According to Us Weekly, McDermott separated earlier this year from his wife of more than a decade, Canadian TV personality Mary Jo Eustace.
The magazine said Spelling and McDermott met this summer on the set of a TV movie, "Mind Over Murder."
Spelling is best known for the 10 years she spent on the popular Fox television series "
Someone Get This Baby a Titty
Published by Scott Webster.
Found an article on MTVnews.com that featured Fred Durst, the idiot from Limp Bizkit. Bet you didn’t know what a well rounded person he was. Did you know that he is a “real director? One who wants to make timeless movies like Martin Scorsese, Wes Anderson, Paul Thomas Anderson and Francis Ford Coppola! I copied the article below and inserted my comments. They are in bold. Feel free to leave your own.
Fred Durst has always talked of expanding his directing repertoire beyond music videos and into film, and this year he took a significant step, although rather slyly. "I created and directed a film for Unquestionable Truth," Durst revealed, referring to the EP Limp Bizkit released in May with virtually no promotion. "It's a 30-minute short film, and Wes [Borland] and I both act in it. (What, you couldn’t find anybody else to act in your movie? Nobody? But you’re so famous and still so relevant!”) I play an evangelist named Evan Gelis (How cute… wordplay), and that's something that I think is gonna find its way out there on the Internet or through somewhere.” With the short behind him, Durst said he will now be moving on to two different feature-length films. He refused to reveal the titles or other details, but the projects are presumably the thriller "Life Without Joe" and the drama "Runt," about a high-school outcast, two movies to which Durst has long been attached. He was also at one time set to helm "The Lords of Dogtown" but was replaced by "Thirteen" director Catherine Hardwicke. (Read as: Someone with credibility)
"Directing a movie is serious, it's not a joke," (No shit, Sherlock) Durst said, explaining the many years it's taken to develop his films. "I thought [directing videos] was serious, and it's not. Directing a film is a lot of work. It's characters, it's arcs, it's beats, it's just a lot of things (Just realizing this, huh?), and I've been blessed to have been mentored by some really great people like ["Fight Club" director] David Fincher and just really have absorbed it. I think I'm a storyteller, and I'm gonna apply it." (Just because you’ve had a few conversations about something doesn’t mean you learned a lot about it. Hell, I once sold a cell phone to a pastor. We talked for about a half hour. Am I fit to run a congregation now?) Durst said that he's actually been working on his film projects since before Limp Bizkit and that the band set him back in more ways than just filling up his schedule. (Aww, “I had to go and be famous for a few minutes with my nu-metal sound. You remember us, all of our songs sounded the same. Come on, you don’t remember?”)
"While the band was taking off, I was trying to have meetings with movie people," he said. "And all Limp Bizkit being successful did was hurt me and get in the way of the movie business. They don't take music people seriously. (No Fred, people don’t take you seriously. Period.) They'll take you serious if they wanna throw you in a film and let you be an actor and cash in on your success while you're hot, and that's not what I wanted to do. I was offered all kinds of cheesy movies that were really successful to direct and I was like, 'I'm not here to make movies like that.' I want to make timeless movies. I want to be beside Martin Scorsese and Wes Anderson and Paul Thomas Anderson and Francis Ford Coppola. I'm a real director. (No. You’re not. You are real joke, complete with setups and punch lines and all that other stuff.) So it took years and years of having meetings, going through the wrong people to the right people to get to this point where I am now.”
Along the way Durst has also stumbled upon a few opportunities in front of the cameras, including a role in the NBC miniseries "Revelations," which aired in April, and an upcoming talk show "The acting thing happened on accident," Durst said. "I did 'Revelations' [for a friend] and I said as long as I'm not playing a typecast, a tattoo artist, a drug dealer, a gang member, somebody like that. I told my friend who was the director that I would do her this favor, and they liked me for this part. (Wow, you have a friend who is a director! YOU ARE +5 CREDIBILITY!) So I went to Prague, and I was doing my album over there, too, and I gained a little bit of the weight for the role, just to look a little bit weird or look like I used to look. (Whatever excuse you wanna use for weight gain will work.) I did it and it seemed to be something natural."
A producer on the miniseries then handed Durst the script for an indie film called "Population 436."
"I said, 'I don't wanna be an actor, I'm a director,' " Durst recalled. "He said, 'Please read it; it would be great for you to play this deputy in here. He's totally different than you are, it'd be a big reach.' I thought it was a good role, and I didn't think anyone would see it; it's a very low-budget movie. So I read for it and the director ended up picking me."
The movie, shot in Winnipeg, Manitoba, stars Jeremy Sisto ("Six Feet Under") as a census-taker who is sent to investigate why a small town has had the same population of 436 residents for the last 100 years.
"It's an interesting role," Durst said of his deputy character. "It felt like something I could get into."
There's no word yet on when "Population 436" will be released. In the meantime, expect a new Limp Bizkit album in 2006. (Halle-f*ckin-lujah!)
Fred Durst has always talked of expanding his directing repertoire beyond music videos and into film, and this year he took a significant step, although rather slyly. "I created and directed a film for Unquestionable Truth," Durst revealed, referring to the EP Limp Bizkit released in May with virtually no promotion. "It's a 30-minute short film, and Wes [Borland] and I both act in it. (What, you couldn’t find anybody else to act in your movie? Nobody? But you’re so famous and still so relevant!”) I play an evangelist named Evan Gelis (How cute… wordplay), and that's something that I think is gonna find its way out there on the Internet or through somewhere.” With the short behind him, Durst said he will now be moving on to two different feature-length films. He refused to reveal the titles or other details, but the projects are presumably the thriller "Life Without Joe" and the drama "Runt," about a high-school outcast, two movies to which Durst has long been attached. He was also at one time set to helm "The Lords of Dogtown" but was replaced by "Thirteen" director Catherine Hardwicke. (Read as: Someone with credibility)
"Directing a movie is serious, it's not a joke," (No shit, Sherlock) Durst said, explaining the many years it's taken to develop his films. "I thought [directing videos] was serious, and it's not. Directing a film is a lot of work. It's characters, it's arcs, it's beats, it's just a lot of things (Just realizing this, huh?), and I've been blessed to have been mentored by some really great people like ["Fight Club" director] David Fincher and just really have absorbed it. I think I'm a storyteller, and I'm gonna apply it." (Just because you’ve had a few conversations about something doesn’t mean you learned a lot about it. Hell, I once sold a cell phone to a pastor. We talked for about a half hour. Am I fit to run a congregation now?) Durst said that he's actually been working on his film projects since before Limp Bizkit and that the band set him back in more ways than just filling up his schedule. (Aww, “I had to go and be famous for a few minutes with my nu-metal sound. You remember us, all of our songs sounded the same. Come on, you don’t remember?”)
"While the band was taking off, I was trying to have meetings with movie people," he said. "And all Limp Bizkit being successful did was hurt me and get in the way of the movie business. They don't take music people seriously. (No Fred, people don’t take you seriously. Period.) They'll take you serious if they wanna throw you in a film and let you be an actor and cash in on your success while you're hot, and that's not what I wanted to do. I was offered all kinds of cheesy movies that were really successful to direct and I was like, 'I'm not here to make movies like that.' I want to make timeless movies. I want to be beside Martin Scorsese and Wes Anderson and Paul Thomas Anderson and Francis Ford Coppola. I'm a real director. (No. You’re not. You are real joke, complete with setups and punch lines and all that other stuff.) So it took years and years of having meetings, going through the wrong people to the right people to get to this point where I am now.”
Along the way Durst has also stumbled upon a few opportunities in front of the cameras, including a role in the NBC miniseries "Revelations," which aired in April, and an upcoming talk show "The acting thing happened on accident," Durst said. "I did 'Revelations' [for a friend] and I said as long as I'm not playing a typecast, a tattoo artist, a drug dealer, a gang member, somebody like that. I told my friend who was the director that I would do her this favor, and they liked me for this part. (Wow, you have a friend who is a director! YOU ARE +5 CREDIBILITY!) So I went to Prague, and I was doing my album over there, too, and I gained a little bit of the weight for the role, just to look a little bit weird or look like I used to look. (Whatever excuse you wanna use for weight gain will work.) I did it and it seemed to be something natural."
A producer on the miniseries then handed Durst the script for an indie film called "Population 436."
"I said, 'I don't wanna be an actor, I'm a director,' " Durst recalled. "He said, 'Please read it; it would be great for you to play this deputy in here. He's totally different than you are, it'd be a big reach.' I thought it was a good role, and I didn't think anyone would see it; it's a very low-budget movie. So I read for it and the director ended up picking me."
The movie, shot in Winnipeg, Manitoba, stars Jeremy Sisto ("Six Feet Under") as a census-taker who is sent to investigate why a small town has had the same population of 436 residents for the last 100 years.
"It's an interesting role," Durst said of his deputy character. "It felt like something I could get into."
There's no word yet on when "Population 436" will be released. In the meantime, expect a new Limp Bizkit album in 2006. (Halle-f*ckin-lujah!)
Outrageous Quotes of 2005
Published 12.27.2005 by Scott Webster.
Courtesy of MediaMatters.com
Here are the most outrageous statements Media Matters for America has documented this year. From attacks on women, Muslims, and African-Americans to a call for the assassination of a foreign leader to an open invitation for Al Qaeda to "blow up" San Francisco to a claim that gay marriage would lead to unions between "a man and his donkey," these statements acutely represent the extreme conservative speech we found in the news media in 2005. (We tried to limit the comments to a Top 10 list, but it was simply impossible.)
Here are the most outrageous statements Media Matters for America has documented this year. From attacks on women, Muslims, and African-Americans to a call for the assassination of a foreign leader to an open invitation for Al Qaeda to "blow up" San Francisco to a claim that gay marriage would lead to unions between "a man and his donkey," these statements acutely represent the extreme conservative speech we found in the news media in 2005. (We tried to limit the comments to a Top 10 list, but it was simply impossible.)
- Former Reagan administration Secretary of Education Bill Bennett: "[Y]ou could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down." [Salem Radio Network's Bill Bennett's Morning in America, 9/28/05]
- Pat Robertson: "If [Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez] thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it." [Christian Broadcasting Network's The 700 Club, 8/22/05]
- Bill O'Reilly to San Francisco: "[I]f Al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. ... You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead." [Westwood One's The Radio Factor with Bill O'Reilly, 12/8/05]
- Bill O'Reilly, agreeing with caller that illegal immigrants are "biological weapon[s]": "I think you could probably make an absolutely airtight case that more than 3,000 Americans have been either killed or injured, based upon the 11 million illegals who are here." [Westwood One's The Radio Factor with Bill O'Reilly, 4/15/05]
- Rush Limbaugh: "Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society." [The Rush Limbaugh Show, 8/12/05]
- Rush Limbaugh on the kidnapping of peace activists in Iraq: "I'm telling you, folks, there's a part of me that likes this." [The Rush Limbaugh Show, 11/29/05]
- Ann Coulter: Bill Clinton "was a very good rapist"; "I'm getting a little fed up with hearing about, oh, civilian casualties"; "I think we ought to nuke North Korea right now just to give the rest of the world a warning." [New York Observer, 1/10/05]
- Ann Coulter: "Isn't it great to see Muslims celebrating something other than the slaughter of Americans?" [Syndicated column, 2/3/05]
- Radio host Glenn Beck: "[Y]ou know it took me about a year to start hating the 9-11 victims' families? Took me about a year." [Premiere Radio Networks' The Glenn Beck Program, 9/9/05]
- Tucker Carlson: "Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice, but you don't take him seriously. That's Canada." [MSNBC's The Situation with Tucker Carlson, 12/15/05]
- American Family Association president Tim Wildmon: Liberals "don't have the kind of family responsibilities most people have, and certainly not church responsibilities." [American Family Radio's Today's Issues, 5/11/05]
- David Horowitz on Cindy Sheehan: "It's very hard to have respect for a woman who exploits the death of her own son and doesn't respect her own son's life. ... She portrays him as an idiot." [MSNBC's Connected: Coast to Coast, 8/16/05]
- Radio host Neal Boortz on the execution of Stanley "Tookie" Williams: "[T]here will be riots in South Central Los Angeles and elsewhere. ... The rioting, of course, will lead to wide scale looting. There are a lot of aspiring rappers and NBA superstars who could really use a nice flat-screen television right now." [Boortz.com, 12/12/05]
- Pat Buchanan: "Our guys" in Iraq "have got every right to have good news put into the media and get to the people of Iraq, even if it's got to be planted or bought." [MSNBC's Hardball with Chris Matthews, 12/1/05]
- National Review editor Rich Lowry: Given EPA-mandated "small-flush" toilets, "[h]ow is it possible to flush a Quran down the toilet?" [Young America's Foundation speech, 8/5/05]
- Neal Boortz, suggesting that a victim of Hurricane Katrina housed in an Atlanta hotel consider prostitution: "I dare say she could walk out of that hotel and walk 100 yards in either direction on Fulton Industrial Boulevard here in Atlanta and have a job. What's that? Well, no, no, no. ... Well, you know what? [laughing] Now that you mention it ... [i]f that's the only way she can take care of herself, it sure beats the hell out of sucking off the taxpayers." [Cox Radio Syndication's The Neal Boortz Show, 10/24/05]
- Focus on the Family founder and chairman James C. Dobson: Same-sex marriage would lead to "marriage between daddies and little girls ... between a man and his donkey." [Focus on the Family radio program, 10/6/05]
- Accuracy in Media editor Cliff Kincaid: "Have you noticed that many news organizations, in honor of former ABC News anchorman Peter Jennings, have embarked on a quit smoking campaign? So why don't our media launch a campaign advising people to quit engaging in the dangerous and addictive homosexual lifestyle? ... It appears that the homosexual lifestyle is as addictive as smoking." [Accuracy in Media column, 12/14/05]
Quoted
Published by Scott Webster.
Bush: All of these. I put it on shuffle. Dwight Yoakam. I've got the Shuffle, the, what is it called? The little.
Hume: Shuffle.
Bush: It looks like.
Hume: The Shuffle. That is the name of one of the models.
Bush: Yes, the Shuffle.
Hume: Called the Shuffle.
Bush: Lightweight, and crank it on, and you shuffle the Shuffle.
Hume: So you -- it plays . . .
Bush: Put it in my pocket, got the ear things on.
-- Fox News anchor Brit Hume interviews President Bush about his iPod.
Hume: Shuffle.
Bush: It looks like.
Hume: The Shuffle. That is the name of one of the models.
Bush: Yes, the Shuffle.
Hume: Called the Shuffle.
Bush: Lightweight, and crank it on, and you shuffle the Shuffle.
Hume: So you -- it plays . . .
Bush: Put it in my pocket, got the ear things on.
-- Fox News anchor Brit Hume interviews President Bush about his iPod.
